#and in come fucking pickles
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i have been on this planet for full thirty turns around the sun, and yet it never dawned on me that a solution to the brutal, days-long reflux and heartache god has plagued me with may just be seventh grader chemistry.
#did y’all know#that vinegar is a basic liquid#and if reflux is your stomach foody digesty acids going escape from alcatraz#than you may just take let’s say a pickle#a cucumber that has been soaked in vinegar liquid#and it will literally do a seventh grade chemistry lab practice in your insides#like… poof?#I HAVE SUFFERRED AND BARGAINED ANT TAKEN THE STRONGEST FUCKING PILLS TO NO AVAIL#LEARNED TO SAY PROTON PUMP INHIBITORS#AND THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS IS SEVENTH. GRADER. CHEMISTRY#like…#sir#i’m tired. my vocal chords are trash again bc they got burned#again.#and in come fucking pickles
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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Only Nathan can make his room romantic enough to be fit for a first date. They are already above cloud nine. Especially Pickles, being held so close in Nathan's big arms...
Originally I planned on having half the height of this painting, but then I saw Nathan's room. So now we have the octopus decoration, the whiskey glasses (kinda hidden), the cinnamon bun, and the already gone drinks with candlelight.
#mtl#metalocalypse#pickles the drummer#nathan explosion#mtl fanart#dethklok#metalocalypse fanart#i am still not over the fact that nathan has pickles totem animal in his room. multiple times#thank you brendon for the concert's nickels moment lol it fueled me#my fucking heart#in my head nathan is the gentlest in every way possible when it comes to pickles#yall can have a picture of a kiss where Nathan doesn't cover them with his hair xdd#nickles#good these bitches didn't drink the candles
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i needed to draw some non-descript earlier era of pickles with short hair or else i was gonna go fucking crazy
#man how the fuck did he come out looking like seth#is it cus of that fucked up little stache#i think it's cus of that fucked up little stache#either way this bangs#pickles the drummer#doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily do#shout out to pickles fr#gotta be one of my favorite genders#metalocalypse#mtl#mtl fanart#metalocalypse fanart#preklok#earlyklok#i don't know which one he falls under but by god he falls under one of them#not sabaton#not stam1na#babe wake up new james art just dropped#my art
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got distracted have whatever these are (alt versions here)
#gif warning#they're funny to me. thank you ezgif.com for making dreams come true#mtl#metalocalypse#nathan explosion#pickles the drummer#nickles#fuck yeah i'm tagging that as nickles why not
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Hey! I saw a little of your "au" from Poppy Playtime, and I wanted to show you mine 😁
I absolutely love how many “saved aus” I’m seeing! Also DAMN YOU JSUT SEWED CATNAP’S MOUTH SHUT LMAO I mean that’s one way to do it/pos
#the three d’s#Drew genuinely cannot fathom Catnap being chill#bro probably needs a group hug after being so close to that pimply purple pickle(/affectionate)#I love them!#we save the sillies mkay?#everybody lives in this house#maaaybe they get a lil fucked up#but they’ll come out#no one is safe from angst#phrart#art#phrog croaks#ask phrog#poppy playtime#catnap#ask the three d’s
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TBH I do think some Jiang disciples did survive the Lotus Pier massacre, if only because they had been elsewhere when it happened/too old or too young to fight so they ran (<-which could be a fun thing to grapple with for both the potential run-aways and newly recruiting Jiang Cheng, who was sent away), but it still wasn't enough people to be called Great Sect. So I think as you say they recruited anyone they could, including some rouge cultivators and some from smaller sects that were destroyed or taken over by the Wen Sect. I don't think they tried to recruit - while the Sunshot campaign was going - a lot of people without active golden core, because they would simply have little time to train them between the battles. Some probably did manage to join the Sect like that, and these would probably grow quite close to people who taught them between the fights.
Also Jiang Cheng having to be at least one of these teachers, because they are short on the disciples but shorter in those trained in Jiang style even more so. And how after the war he must've been doing that still, on top of having the sect to run as both Leader and Head Discipline (because Wei Wuxian was going through things he chose to neither explain or acknowledge) (1/2)
(2/2) Also Jiang Cheng, who almost had to watch his brother get caught by the Wen soldiers when he went off alone in the streets, WOULD try and make his disciples work in big enough groups to protect themselves. Also also Jiang Cheng that seems to go off alone rather often.
Oh, and Jiang Cheng throwing his weight around when his disciples get into some sort of disagreement/scuffle every time, and being harsh on the other party (totally not because of finally being able to shield someone he cares for) and never satisfying the questions about the punishment (totally not because of his mother and Zidian and Wei Wuxian). Even when Jiang disciples were in the wrong. Not meaning there was no disciplinary action, just that it never went outside the sect.
Also taking in some non-cultivators that are good at other things (like Jiang Yanli!) or people who lost their golden cores but can still fight and teach (because he remembers not having a golden core and how that felt like; and maybe he realises somewhere along the way that he might've been able to live without one too; which would certainly add even more flavour to learning whose golden core really was inside him all along).
The latter headcanon is also so amazing because resurrected Wei Wuxian would have to confront how he dealt with the loss of his core and finally stop saying he is fine and reflect on his feelings about all this, including Jiang Cheng
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me :D I am so absolutely taken over by this subject!
This is why I'm writing these things, I love to discuss them with other peeps:)
Your message pushed me onto another path of wild speculation via the mention of the other smaller sects that JC would approach to recruit - and that pushed me into the economics of Jinaghu and their influence on the post-war lay of the landXD
Which I am putting under the cut, because it's a lot of rambling to get to a point, but that's how it is in these parts;]
Also, the map I will be using, because it's as good as any other:
From the beginning - smaller sects yes, there was probably not a shortage of them that were destroyed by the Wen passing through and by the blowback of the war happening at all. I imagine that anyone from lone survivors to whole families was displaced…
But I am unsure if inviting them in would be a good idea in JC's position, because, going back to the main point - the Jiang were decimated. I can only go by what the story tells us when it doesn't mention any extra survivors - the Wen banning other sects from night-hunts was a nifty set-up for everyone being stuck at home after all - even if, logically, some of the disciples could be in other locations… however, even if they were, these wouldn't be the meat of Yunmeng Jiang. Because…
…random tangent no 1, because this is a low-fantasy setting (thinking of Game of Thrones I am), I am structuring the Sects as Just Gentry. Maybe not kingdoms outright - because there doesn't seem to be enough land between them to cover for their economic statuses - but city-states ruled by aristocratic bloodlines with the actual political power in their hands. Thus, even if the book doesn't really go into it, I'd wager that the region of Yunmeng was run by the extended Jiang family that was living in the capital of Lotus Pier. That's where the disciples were trained - but that was most likely also where the taxes were being collected, where the trade arrangements happened, where the law was being written, higher education took place, it had the best restaurants, etc.
When the Wen destroyed Lotus Pier, they did away with the whole socio-economic and political setup of the region, which is a smart move for someone who wants to set up their own shop.
…And that circles me back to JC and recruiting - he wasn't just gathering disciples to fight, he was rebuilding a whole intricate system of governance from scratch. A system that used to be run by the extended family that he could trust - now was something he was staffing with strangers.
And, from the example of Su Minshan, we know how jumping sects was considered to be in bad taste - it stands to reason that whatever decimated sect showed up on JC's doorstep, they wouldn't want to give up their own name. Just like JC wasn't going to give up his name. These people would be looking for an alliance and revenge, and, most likely, economic help in their own rebuilding, but most of them weren't looking to join the Jiang. And if they were - what was the guarantee that they'd stay? Or that they wouldn't use JC to meet their own ends and leave him worse for it? Or simply take over due to sheer numbers? A valid fear for a clan of 1 that had to seem ripe for picking.
I think JC would be very careful about accepting disciples from existing sects as his own, and instead build alliances with them. A rogue cultivator or a promising youth looking for a place to settle were a safer bet to build the core of his new sect with. Not to say that some of these alliances wouldn't result in the smaller sects merging into the Jiang later on by osmosis, but not at the outset…
Which leads me to believe that JC would want to start taking in and training coreless youths as soon as humanly possible - just to have someone at his back who was OF Yunmeng Jiang and not just allied with them. Maybe not during the beginning of the war, but by the time Lotus Pier was reclaimed things were probably going this way. If you think about it, Jiang Cheng was a fucking powerhouse of a leader. I have no idea when he slept. Probably not at all.
Probably why he was so cranky XD
That's why I am of firm opinion that the alliance by marriage with the Jin sect was a double-edged sword JC wasn't in a position to refuse, but also wasn't in a position to wholeheartedly accept. (And everyone who thinks that JC 'sold' Yanli to JGS for all these doubloons is just plain old wrong). Because now they're family. Only family he has. And that family can slowly find their way into the important positions of his own 'kingdom', because that's how gentry/aristocracy tends to work in a setting putting that much value on bloodlines, and he doesn't have his own family to plug these positions with ahead of time.
And even if JGS wasn't super eager to marry his son to JYL and the marriage was mostly pushed by Madame Jin and Jin Zixuan - it was in JGS's best interests for Yunmeng Jiang to remain weakened and/or under his control. Because….
…tangent nr 2- economics! :D
The plot doesn't go into it, but I like to know, so I was thinking of the actual economics of the magical land of magical peopleXD I don't need them to be detailed, but just realistic enough to make some sense, and serve as a believable background. I'm not going to question the existence of potatoes or other anachronisms, but one thing I needed to answer for myself was - where is all the money coming from???
Like, for real, where is the cash coming from for all the silks, fancy furniture, houses, swords and so on. How are the gentry sects making money?
Again, the genre, like many others, waves away monetary concerns in general - aristocrats are just wealthy, commoners are poor, and Bilbo Baggins is a landlord. OK.
So, taxes. What makes sect a Great one? Land, mostly, it would seem. The amount of land they own. Which means taxes - if we consider the Gentry sects local aristocracy. That tracks, because ain't no way they'd earn that much dosh via night-hunts from a population that isn't really that large. If you look at the approximate map of the whole realm and consider how fast people are moving from one region to another (even including flying swords and donkey-travel) that ain't a lot of land/people to feed all these sects fleeting about between the 5 Majors.
So, my idea is that the small sects do support themselves mostly via night-hunting and general spiritual upkeep of their locals, but the Greats are just aristocracy and live off of taxes and trade.
And that makes me wonder how Yunmeng Jiang managed to recover their wealth in such a record time, and why was the Jin so wealthy for apparently doing so little.
I propose that Lanling Jin grew out of a port-city and made its money on sea-trade. Sea trade was always The Shit if you wanted to, dunno, gild your palace in gold or something.
Yunmeng - with its access to lakes and rivers - was another trade hub of the realm with the additional bonus of lotus, fish and all other crops a well-watered land can give you.
Qishan - being the most West-ward placed of the Great sects we know of, had to have access to - or even monopoly over - the intercontinental trade routes, or a lot of raw materials available. But at the same time, being a mountainous region, it wasn't rich in water and water-intensive crops. I think that once the material appetite of the Wen upper echelon grew, the more they needed to look towards consuming other regions to sustain it.
Annexing Yunmeng was a good strategy from that point of view - it fixed the water issue and also opened new trade routes towards the South and East via the rivers.
But then the Wen were defeated - and all that West-ward trade potential suddenly was left unattended, and JGS would be a fool to let it slip through his fingers. And the only 'large' clan placed close enough to was Yunmeng.
Stands to reason that, somehow, JC managed to wrestle some of that for his own people to refill the coffers. Gusu was too far and not a trade hub by any means, and Nie Mingjue/Huaisang seemed uninterested in reaching out for it, so the only serious competition on that front were the Jin… Which, again, JC somehow managed to outsmart there, because I do not believe for even a moment that a fierce economic battle wasn't fought as soon as the military operations ended.
#headcanon#mdzs#jiang cheng#yunmeng jiang#i am at no point saying this is gospel - just how i explain things to myself in my head#i am no economy major - just a dedicated Age of Empires player XD#addressing the possible characteristics of yunmeng jiang disciples will come next#I imagine JC and JGY having a battle of spead-sheets during every conference#and their trade disputes being so damn tangled and complex that even sect leader yao usually sat them out#i think that JC was always running the type of anxiety that made it impossible to stand up for himself - but the moment someone he liked#was concerned the Mom Friend override was slamming in and HE SAID NO PICKLES FOR FUCK'S SAKE!#like - JC was taught that standing up for himself usually leads to more scolding and so he instinctively doesn't until he's too angry#to hold back#thanks mom&dad :DDDDD#that nothing he can say in his own defense matters#so why the fuck should he try?#but he will go to bat for the people he loves at all times of day & night#and his closest disciples noticed#and decided that yeah that won't do - let's make it so that the zongzhu doesn't have to take it for us#no witnesses means no accountability>;]#and#no#one#saw#anything#right?:))))))))
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princess
#disasterpiece.png#true detective#s1 e5#s1 e6#the secret fate of all life#haunted houses#rust cohle#wife tag#world's most princess girl of all time. 2002 rust is like a wife to me#do not come at me talking about her hair by the way it's perfect. it's ugly. it gets mussed after she fucks. it's castration metaphor.#it's rust getting cut down to size so he can fit into something adjacent to normalcy. it's rust having his edges softened so he can be in a#(most likely loveless) relationship. it's him wanting to say no... being forced to say yes... if her life was the leather tanning process#this would be the bating or pickling. that haircut is so painfully average. my sweet princess. something about her is so sun-dried.#there is an animal trying to get OUT. all this over some hair. but still. i am right.#it's like when dogs are sheared in certain places to have surgery done on them#i wonder what they took out of her
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EPISODE 9 SPOILERS !!! EPISODE 9 SPOILERS !!!
Doodle page sneak peek ! My ass has having such a hard time drawing as of late so please take these little doobLz
#yes thats gabriel on the right#i love him so much#the suckening#jrwi#jrwi the suckening#just roll with it#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#shilo bathroy#prince shilo#I FUCKING LOVE PICKLES SO MUCH#no one gets it#im so sad gabe died#i am 50% sure he is going to come back#25% is he comes back w/ his mind in tact and the other half is he comes back like a fucking undertale amalgam#I JUST REALIZED THAT I FORGOT ARTHUR’S CHOKER#fucckkk i knew he looked naked somehow#this is terrible news it’s so joever#bub's sillies
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Look y'all it's not my fault that I make so many ships poly. It's just. It's the voices. They make me, and I can't stop them
#im dead serious#I just do it and I don't know why#this is about#polyklok#narles#nickles#whatever charles/pickles/nathan are called#like the majority of the things I ship#uhh some other things that I can't think of right off the bat#the mystery gang#smiling friends (kinda) i don't really ship them but they kind of fit#some stuff from like star trek#monster high#the fairies from tinkerbelle#and yeah I'll add more when they come to mind#and i'm not embarrassed to put them lmao#polyam pride#I just think they're neat#“*insert character* has 2 hands”#What would you say if I told you I didn't ship just Maxley#but Max Roxanne Bradley and fucking Yakko Warner or some shit#/j#Would you still love me?
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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Give me my goddamn donut car!!!!!!
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Family au, where Skwisgaar is teaching Toki how to do norse rituals, and dances.
But oh no! A Wild Gaelic has appeared!
And ruined it, and he's giggling.
Here are the others, and Pickles' full druid+war paint design:
This took me forever next to school lol. I have a strong will to explain where the designs are from and why, but I also want people to get to figure it out :3
If you're curious about the inspirations, and what I've listened to mostly while drawing them, here's a small list ^^ - Skald: Troll Kalla Mik, (Grótti) - Heilung: Norupo, Hamrer Hippyer - (Eivor: Salt) - Kokia: Siúil a Rún - Heather Dale: Fair Folk - Heather Dale: The Maiden and the Selkie - Herknungr: Chauken
Their official music videos might have clues :3 (except for Pickles, Irish culture is already in my brain in its own enclosure)
#mtl fanart#metalocalypse#metalocalypse fanart#mtl#pickles the drummer#dethklok#nathan explosion#dethklok fanart#skwisgaar skwigelf#william murderface#fuck i forgor the early access. or did i... for some i did hehe#this is family au so it still plays in the same era. they are just closer to their culture somehow to some extenct bc why not#i have to tell tho. murderface is flipping off the mask of jason voorhne bc he kills fat kids. and he's still a kid. before becoming fat#and i had to come up with something for him besides being a mix#family au#one week left from school. then it is exams time (3)
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"being trans is hard" no. "7+ year waiting list or £10000 private care and also everybody hates you" is hard
#I don't wanna waste my entire 20s waiting to be Me but I also don't have 10 fucking grand and I also would rather not lose all of my family#bit of a pickle innit#I don't even wanna have to come out to my family that shit is cringe#we just skip that bit?
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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What’s the picky eaters AU?
just my little self-indulgent vampire au, that somehow, accidentally, not on purpose ended up being very focused on feeding mechanics. hence the stupid name.
#in the initial au planning stages i happened to get very attached to the idea of supremely fussy vampire baby dazai#food intolerances and pickiness are an essential part of the fussy infant package i think#so that led me to contemplate how blood could actually function as a food source#what factors might influence how it tastes#what nuances a creature that is specifically built to sustain itself on only blood might pick up on#atypical feeding habits (possibly caused by physical ailments or genetics)#nutritional value…#can you cook blood? artificially flavour it? add unregulated food dyes to make it glow in the dark?#…pickle it?#suck blood clots like candy#i don’t fucking know#just lots and lots of supernatural pseudo-biology#i’m not sure how much of that i can actually realistically convey through art#very questionable even when looking at pieces i drew with specific headcanons in mind#so to anyone else this probably looks like the most bog-standard vampire au one could possibly come up with#but in my heart this au is 95% about food
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